Recently, I peed on Bryan’s bed in retaliation to his act of peeing on my IPad. Many people disagree with me doing this, especially Bryan. Rather than try to explain myself, I would like to explain how amazing it felt peeing all over his stuff.
Bryan is a big asshole, and deserves to sleep in another mans piss. This is why pissing on his bed felt better than having sex. I am not kidding, it really did. Sex is nothing compared to ruining that assholes stuff. I remember looking into the mirror as I was pissing on his bed and seeing the biggest smile I have ever seen. As I watched the arch of the pee start at my penis, and flow through the air like a yellow rainbow ending in a puddle of satisfaction It almost brought me to tears. It was as if I had accomplished everything I’ve ever wanted to accomplish, and I could live freely and happy for the rest of my life. I’ve been thinking about painting the moment to memorialize the liberation so that all people who hate Bryan could bask in its greatness, but I believe it would be to beautiful for human eyes to view. The stream can only be compared to the light of god. I have wanted to see the Aurora Borealis my entire life but no longer desire to, as nothing can compare to the site of my piss hitting Bryan’s bed. Angels falls is the largest waterfall in the world, but the best waterfall in the world is the one coming out of my penis and landing on Bryan’s bed. Forgot about the miracle of turning water into wine, I have taken the place where Bryan sleeps and turned it into a human litter box.
In conclusion, I would like to thank Bryan for buying such an expensive bed. This entire event would not have been possible without Bryan being a terrible consumer. – Greg